It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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