one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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