sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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