people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
