a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
