I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
