It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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