i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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