It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
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Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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