i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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