im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
