He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
