Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
