I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
