I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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