She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
