Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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