i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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