I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
