They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need to calm my uterus...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
