I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
