If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
