don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
