We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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