Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
