I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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