Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize