I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
