I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
