Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
