There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.