She is in my trunk
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
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so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line