my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
