This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried