i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Porn is love you can see.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender