Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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