She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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