Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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