When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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