No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
