grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
