It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
