I swear she didn't look like that last week.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
