my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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