She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
