how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
