he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize