sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
false alarm. still invincible.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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