Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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