we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
