I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The air taste purple.
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