people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
