I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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