Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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