"it" just moved
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize