She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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