Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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