With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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