I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
