I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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