So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
